It might seem counter-intuitive to say that you need to let go of things in order to better connect. Yet, letting go is often the first step in being fully present and completely connected in a situation.
Connecting To The Present
To be a success in your job, relationship, or any other thing you choose, you must connect to the present. Your focus must on the “here and now” instead of “what could be” or “what might have been.”
For example, you will only succeed in your job if you focus on the job that you have today. If you focus on your dream job or the job that got away, you will not do as good of a job. Additionally, you will likely be unhappy. Now, if you focus on your current job and do a great job, another job may await you that takes you a step closer to your dream job.
The same is true of relationships. If you focus on a past relationship or an ideal one, you are bound to miss the potential of current relationships.
Likewise, if you focus on yesterday or tomorrow, you will miss opportunities that are right in front of you today.
Holding Onto The Past
In the current world situation, disconnecting from the present might seem like a good idea. It is easy to think of the things you planned to do or how life was so different just a month ago. You might even focus on “if I had only.” However, that only disconnects you from the present.
Instead, you might consider this situation an opportunity or a challenge. If you are working from home, consider how to be more productive. Challenge yourself to stay connected to co-workers in a socially-distanced world. If you are still going to a place of employment, make it a challenge. Create new ideas for maintaining distance from other workers and look for other ways of staying healthy.
If you have more free time, consider connecting with family, learning a new skill, or enjoying a hobby, or simply having some down time. Use this time to connect to whatever you want and need in your life.
Does It Add Value?
No matter how you are spending your time you are likely still being bombarded with information about the current situation. Being aware is good; getting caught up in information overload and drama is not good.
If the information grasps your focus but adds no value, you may want to consider letting it go. For example, it is easy for some people to get caught up looking at the latest stories on social media, checking the virus statistics, or watching the stock market. The question is, “Do any of these things add value to your life?” If you are going to make changes because of them, then maybe there is a valid reason. However, if you aren’t going to change anything, consider letting them go or minimizing the time you focus on them.
These are not things you can control. Instead, turn your attention away and focus on being present in the moment.
None of this negates having dreams and ideas of a better life and a better world in the future. You should absolutely continue to dream. It is just that the dream should not get in the way of your life.
For instance, if you are 20 and a budding football star, it makes sense to eat, breathe and live football in hopes of becoming a Denver Bronco. However, if you are sixty-years old and you are still holding onto the same dream, you may have missed out on a lot of life. Continuing to focus your time, thoughts, and actions on that dream means that you are likely missing out on connecting with other possibilities.
In this example, the dream should have been transformed or dropped thirty years earlier so that you could be present and enjoy life. As the late Kenny Rogers sang in the Gambler,
You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run(1)
Dreams are the same way. If you continue to hold them beyond their time, you will miss out of living life.
Thus, to stay as healthy as possible, let go of all those things that are not serving you. This will allow you to connect to those people and things that are most important to you in a healthier, stronger way.
Apply it today and find yourself more fully present. New and improved connections are awaiting you!