Releasing: A Key to Healing

 

 

Most people have an event from their past that clings to them like a baby clings to their pacifier. Like a parent who thinks their baby is ready to give up their pacifier, the person may think they are ready to give up the memory. And, no matter how hard the parent tries, the baby resists giving up their pacifier. Similarly no matter how hard the person tries to forget, the memory won’t leave. It seems to be permanently etched into their brain.

 

Even when someone is not consciously recalling the memory, that instance of memory can consume some of the person’s energy like a dripping faucet leaks water. Although one instance of memory may not be a significant drain on a person, if there are lots of memories connected to the person, the person may experience a significant drain. In some cases, one single instance can be enough to be a continual drain on a person.

 

Staying Connected

 

Energetically speaking, people may hold onto events, places, and people. Think of the old time switch boards where there was a person making a voice connection by plugging a line into a socket. This created a physical connection that allowed a person on one end to speak to the person on the other end. Energy works in a very similar manner. In the switchboard era, you could hang up and come back an hour later and begin talking if the switchboard operator had left the connection in place.

 

The same is true if the universe has not severed the energetic connection. When that connection remains, the other person, company, or event continues to be connected to the person.  This is true even if they are no longer a part of that person’s life. Unfortunately, trauma is often the cord that binds the two together. The more trauma someone has experienced, the more likely there will be a strong energetic connection they will have to the place, event, or person.

 

What stays connected to someone may seem completely random and insignificant to other people. In fact, others that witnessed an event that someone found traumatic may not even be able to recall the event. To the traumatized person, however, the reason they can recall these events, places, and people so vividly is because of the trauma they experienced.

 

No Longer Needed

 

These events, places, and people created an energetic connection. When these connections no longer serve the person in a positive manner, the person needs to decide if they are ready to release the connection. This doesn’t mean that they will forget the people or events. However, it does mean that these people and events of the past will no longer have influence over their lives.

 

The connection can be released in a variety of ways. Some people opt for counseling while others do journaling, meditation, or energy work. The act of releasing heals old wounds and allows you to thrive.

 

Once released, the person may feel more energized. They may physically feel like a weight is lifted from them. New opportunities may also arise once they are no longer being held back by these connections.

 

What are you waiting for? Release! It is the key to healing.

 

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

 

 

Have you ever had a parent or other authority figure who said to you, “Do as I say, not as I do?” How did you react to the statement? Did it sound odd to you? Did you follow their words or did you follow their actions?

 

Statements directing a person to follow someone’s words instead of their actions are very confusing to them, especially if they are children. By nature children learn by mimicking other people’s behavior. This tendency to mimic the actions of others carries over into adulthood. As a result, when someone’s words contradict their behavior, it creates subconscious confusion for the people around them. Since their words contradict human nature, their words often don’t have the desired effect.

 

An Example

 

Let’s take an example. Perhaps a single parent goes out and parties on the weekend. The parent smokes, drinks, and stays out all night. This same parent has strict rules on dating and tell their teenage child that they should not be sexually active, drink, or smoke. When questioned by the child as to why it’s okay for the parent but not for them, the parent replies, “Do as I say, not as I do.” This phrase is a standard response that the child has heard over and over.

 

The Parent

 

First, let’s go into the parent’s head. The parent doesn’t want their child to do the things that they do, but they are not willing to give them up. The parent may even have been told that their behavior is not appropriate by family, friends, or a cultural belief. Yet, they continue the behavior believing that telling their children not to follow their example makes it acceptable.

 

The parent is attempting to connect their child with a different behavior than they are demonstrating. Meanwhile, they are denying the connection between their behavior and the behavior their child is likely to demonstrate.

 

The Child

 

Now, let’s go into that teenager’s head. Consciously or subconsciously, the child notices that the parent drinks, smokes, and sleeps around. They also know that the parent denies or downplays their actions by stating the preferred behavior. This may appear somewhat like a lie to the child. Their brain works to sort out this information since it is contrary to their nature.

 

The resulting behavior of the teenager depends a lot on the child’s nature. Some children will listen to what the parent tells them to do and follow those instructions out of a sense of duty to the parent. However, others will connect the parent’s behavior and words to conclude that it is okay to smoke, drink, and sleep around as long as you tell others that is not the way to behave. This means that the child may fall into the same pattern with younger siblings or may behave this way with their own children. Meanwhile a teenager with another temperament may simply see the parent as lying about their actions and conclude that they don’t have to listen to the parent at all. Instead, they do anything they want whenever they want.

 

Bottom Line

 

The bottom line is that you set an example for others with your actions. Therefore, your words might as well match your actions. If your words match your actions, you will minimally be seen as authentic even if your actions are not always ideal.

 

Losing focus on intent

 

I watched a Facts of Life episode the other day where Jo, a college student representing students at a school board meeting, was upset that the college didn’t have the funds to support new scholarships. At the same meeting, the chairperson of the board was thrilled to announce that an alumnus had just offered funds to build an expensive new scoreboard for the football stadium. All the attendees, except Jo, were excited to have the opportunity to purchase a new scoreboard. Meanwhile, most of them seemed quite indifferent to the lack of funds for new scholarship.

 

Scholarships First

 

Jo believed scholarships should be funded before a scoreboard, which she viewed as unnecessary. She could have requested that the school approach the alumus to request that the funds be directed to scholarships. However, she became focused on rejecting the scoreboard leading a campus-wide campaign to against it.

 

Under great political pressure and with the approval of the contributing alumnus, the school board chair proposed a compromise where the funds for the scoreboard would be split between a less expensive scoreboard and scholarships. Neither side would receive 100% of what they wanted, but they both would benefit. Jo, however, refused to compromise.

 

No Compromise

 

Jo had lost focus on the intention of getting scholarship funding. Instead, she was focused on refusing any new scoreboard at all. Her refusal to compromise forced the board to reject the donation entirely in order to retain other donations that had been threatened due to the controversy. As a result, the school would receive no new scoreboard and no additional scholarship money.

 

Jo was excited that she had been able to stop the scoreboard until Blair, Jo’s friend, pointed out to Jo that her perceived win was actually a loss. At that point, Jo realized her mistake. She also recognized that she had to apologize to the students who had put their faith in her to do the right thing for them. And, she had to grovel to the chairperson in hopes it wasn’t too late to accept the proposed compromise.

 

Lost Focus

 

Jo had become obsessed with the scoreboard, which really had nothing to do with her original intent. Such obsessions can happen to all of us. Our minds make associations between two things, but sometimes the associations don’t really exist or don’t exist in the manner that we perceive them.

 

The more obsessed we are with a particular outcome, the less likely we will be receptive to compromise. Sometimes we lose our ability to see clearly. This may lead to conflict that has no possible resolution. Therefore, becoming obsessed with something not really connected to your intent often results in nothing but stress and frustration.

 

Be Open To Alternatives

 

The next time you feel like there is one and only one solution take a break and rejuvenate yourself before coming back to the topic. Make sure you are open to hearing alternatives. One or more of these alternatives may result in a win-win for everyone, even if it means some compromise.

 

Memory Triggers

 

 

Have you ever saw, smelled, or heard something that triggered a memory from a long time ago? I watched a movie the other night that included a scene about a high school student losing her grandmother. It reminded me of losing my grandmother when I was thirteen. I recalled the day after my grandmother’s funeral when I returned to school. A friend asked where I was the day before. I told him that I had attended my grandmother’s funeral. He insisted I was lying.

 

I found it odd that a friend would think that I lied about losing my grandmother. This is when I realized that not all people my age had lost loved ones. They were likely blessed with having their parents as well as all four of their grandparents living.

 

Death Was Familiar To Me

 

It was different for me. My father’s mother, who had just passed, was the last of my living grandparents. Plus, I had already lost my father seven years earlier. So, death was a familiar experience for me. It seemed, however, it was unfamiliar to my friend.  

 

The Right Trigger

 

This seemingly benign incident has stuck with me for many years. All it took was the right trigger for me to remember it.

 

It’s not uncommon for us to remember something from the past that would otherwise be long forgotten when a current event provides the right stimulus. Sometimes recollection of a memory results in a simple reaction of recognition. However, many times these recollections bring up emotions – both positive and negative. Sometimes, these “forgotten” memories are the source behind a person’s current day issues.

 

It is fascinating how our minds hold onto memories from so long ago and how they unconsciously can affect us today. Even memories that don’t have significance on the surface can have a lasting impact on our well-being long into the future.

 

Responding To Memories

 

As you experience past memories that may spontaneous arise, recognize them. If they are pleasant, welcome them. If they are negative, give yourself permission to release any negative emotions associated with that memory. Releasing guilt, fear, and other negative emotions can be a great healing experience. Don’t forget to be thankful for the experience and to forgive all involved, including yourself.

 

 

 

In the previous article “Don’t Stop Believing”, I wrote about my belief in past lives and experiences that reconfirmed that belief. Having studied the topic extensively, I have learned of even more profound cases where young children knew amazing things that they could not possibly have learned in this lifetime.  

 

This knowledge is interesting and exciting, especially in cases where it can be confirmed. However, it is really secondary to the healing that is available through exploring past lives.

 

Stumbling Into Past Lives

 

Dr. Brian Weiss MD’s work with past lives and healing is probably the most well-known of anyone’s in the world. He was a psychiatrist when he stumbled into past life regression. In the story that he tells about his first encounter with past life regression, his patient regressed when he was trying to use general hypnosis techniques. It wasn’t until she regressed to a previous lifetime that she began showing physical and emotional improvement.

 

The patient appeared to have true healing. Yet, Dr. Weiss was not convinced that past lives were real and was unsure as to what was really happening. . In a later session, the patient was actually able to obtain information about Dr. Weiss that she could not have possibly known. Although this was not about her life, it convinced him that something very real was happening. His experience with this client was the beginning of a journey that has changed his life and the lives of many others.

 

Our Work

 

My wife and I had read about Dr. Weiss’ experience many years ago. Then in 2014, we had the opportunity to attend Dr Weiss’ professional past life regression training where we witnessed such healing first hand. We learned that past life regressions can help heal both physical and emotional issues people are experiencing in their current lifetime.

 

Today, after additional study with others in this line of work, we include past life regression and other similar types of sessions in our service offerings. Our primary focus of regressions are for people who want to resolve issues that they cannot consciously explain. In many situations, the client becoming consciously aware of the situation that initiated the current day problem allows healing to begin.

 

Client Experience

 

Every person is different and every experience is different. Some have immediate understanding and healing. For others, there is a sudden recognition some time later. And, there are others where healing process occurs slowly over time as full understanding occurs.

 

I never expect miracles, but I am almost always surprised by the results. And, I love those e-mails that arrive from clients at a later date with new amazing insights. So, whether you believe in past lives or not, just know that if there is an issue with no apparent origin, your past lives might hold the key.

 

To learn more about Dr. Weiss’ work, check out his website http://www.brianweiss.com/

 

Note: Past Life Regression is not therapy and should not be used in lieu of medical treatment.

 

 

 

A dream I remember from last night included circus animals parading up an inside stairwell, changing rooms three times while staying at a hotel, and not knowing if I was going to ride a horse, take Lyft, or drive home. Like many dreams, it was crazy and unrealistic.

 

Busy Brain

 

It is believed that crazy dreams are your brain trying to make sense out of things. Those topics may be something we read in the news, a movie we saw, or experienced sometime during our life. With everything that we hear, see, and experience, it is amazing that people’s heads don’t explode when their brain tries to combine the multitude of stimuli that we experience every day.

 

Yet, somehow the mind manages to connect our experiences and all this information into a story – as crazy as the story may seem. Perhaps the brain is determining how to file the information, exploring new relationships between information, doing a form of learning, or simply trying to keep us sane.

 

Creativity At Its Finest

 

Although no one knows exactly what the brain is doing, it is clear that this is creativity at its finest. At times, nighttime creativity can leak into solving real problems or breaking through creative blocks. When people are stuck on a problem, the answer often lies in sleeping on it. The next day, new solutions suddenly appear or issues with previous ideas seem to dissolve.

 

In a sense, the creativity of sleep is being harnessed and applied to real problems.   However, this is limited to the sleep state and does not occur upon demand.

 

Applying It Every Day

 

Just imagine if we could capture hyper-creativity of the dream state and apply it to problems and projects during our waking hours. Amazing things would be created assuming logic, art, and engineering could be integrated with the creativity process.

 

With focus and possibly relaxation, perhaps creativity can be boosted to levels higher than we normally experience. After all, it is just a matter of connecting the right things in new and different ways.

 

 

 

 

There is a local restaurant where my wife and I occasionally dine. A nice feature of this restaurant is that they allow you to create custom salads and entrees from a list of ingredients. We often create salads, choosing the greens, toppings, and dressing.

 

Creating custom salads and entrees is a bit more challenging for kitchen staff because they don’t know what is right because they have made it a thousand times. Instead, each time is unique. This requires having a process to ensure that the food items are created per their customers’ requests.

 

Some of their locations seem to do this well. Unfortunately, at the location closest to our home, they seem to have a difficult time making my salad according to my specifications. And, if mine is correct, it seems someone else’s meal has an error.

 

Expectations

 

I have come to expect that they will make mistakes when making my salad. Even when it appears that they’ve made it correctly, I usually spend the entire time looking for the mistake. If there isn’t one, I will still find a flaw. I might say something like, “Well, it has all the right ingredients but they put too much salad dressing on the salad.” I try to mold reality into meeting my expectations..

 

The restaurant is usually good about fixing the mistakes. However, the errors are annoying because the rhythm of the dining experience is thrown off. My entrée sometimes ends up arriving before I get the correct salad. Other times, one person is eating while the other is waiting.

 

Connecting

 

After this happened several times, I wondered if there was a connection between my expectations and the errors occurring in the kitchen. As such, I tried setting expectations beforehand that the kitchen staff would correctly make my salad. This seemed to help improve, but not completely eliminate, the issues with my meal.

 

Positive Expectations

 

It does make me question, however, how much my expectations result in self-fulfilling prophecies. Thus, I started working on setting positive expectations to see if I could observe results from my expectations. Recently, I have focused on positive expectations regarding close parking spaces and avoiding traffic congestion. So far, having these positive expectations seem to help me be successful in achieving my intent.

 

It doesn’t really matter if I am actually experiencing these positive results or it’s just my perception. By connecting these positive expectations with my results, I am creating a healthy self-fulfilling prophecy. As I expand these positive expectations to the rest of my life, I can experience a major life shift.

 

 

 

 

Everyday we ride an emotional roller coaster. We can leave work feeling great because we completed a major project or made a huge sale. The feeling of joy plunges when we become angry because another driver cut us off. Then we reach home and feel so loved when our 2-footed or 4-footed loved ones greet us.

 

The Highs and Lows

 

While riding the emotional roller coaster called life, we often recognize the highs and the lows, but may not think a lot about the physical reaction to these emotions. Like a roller coaster, the physical effects of these emotions can be transient. Our blood pressure increases when we are angry with other drivers. However, it soon returns to normal. In this case, the incident on the roadway results in little or no residual effect on our overall well-being.

 

In some cases, it lasts a bit longer. Stress headaches or muscle strains gained on the ride or that occur as a result of our emotions being jostled about last longer. Perhaps, we feel them for a few hours or a whole day.

 

Linger Affects

 

Sometimes, however, situations can have a lingering effect on us. For example, when we experience strong emotional trauma, such as the loss of a loved one, the emotion can be quite intense and linger with us for a long period of time. Initially, this trauma may or may not have any physical effects on us. Any initial physical effects are likely to be transient – headache, sleeplessness, etc. However, it is the accumulation of the emotion over time that holds the potential to have a greater impact on our health and wellbeing.

 

Underlying negative emotions that linger attack us day in and day out. Often this happens for a long period of time only to be followed by the discovery of a physical aliment. Many times people view this as an independent event and do not connect it to the emotion that they have been harboring. Others have a sudden “Ah ha!” moment and begin to wonder if there is a tie between the their emotion and the manifestation of the physical aliment.

 

Repetitive Emotions

 

Not all physical ailments that manifest from emotion come from traumatic events. People sometimes experience an emotion on a regular basis or hold on to an emotion. If this is a positive emotion, such as love, this is wonderful and very healthy. Unfortunately, it is often anger or another negative emotion. For example, politics, fueled by social media and media outlets, seems to put some people in a constant state of anger. That anger is unhealthy and needs to be released for the person’s own well-being.

 

Changing Our Reactions

 

We can start to change our reactions to negative emotions by being conscious of the connection between our emotions on our physical well-being. Recognition that we no longer need to be at the mercy of these emotions is the first step.

 

The second step is to choose to release our connection to negative emotions. We can begin that process by recognizing that the situation causing these emotions will pass. After all, do we really want to be emotionally invested in something that may physically harm us, This is especially true since the harm often comes after the issue has become less important or is no longer relevant. t

 

Once we make this choice, we can begin to release the emotion. However, releasing the connection to negative emotions is not easy. These negative emotions are the most intense emotions and they linger with us the longest. We also tend to rehash the negative emotions, which reinforces the recall of the situation and has a tendency to intensify the emotions.

 

It is important to see situations that lead to negative emotions for what they are. In some cases, they are traumatic and life changing. However, often we hold onto emotions related to events that aren’t life changing and aren’t really traumatic. We must consciously remind ourselves that it is acceptable and healthy to let go of these negative emotions.

 

Positive Memories Are Healthy

 

Human nature seems to be attuned to looking at the bad. It is a way of survival and seeking answers. Yet, looking for the good in situations or positive memories to replace the bad is very healthy. It isn’t always easy at first; however, it gets easier with practice. In the case of the loss of a loved one, it is far healthier to remember the good times – the laughter, the love – rather than focusing on the loss. By doing so we reinforce the positive emotions and we heal for our future well-being.