Out of Sight - Out of Mind

 

The age-old saying “Out of sight, out of mind” is a reflection of how easy it is to disconnect from people, places and things. It is easy to feel a connection when you are physically in the presence of someone or something, or when looking at a photograph. However, it isn’t always so easy to feel that connection at other times.

 

Physical Presence

 

When you are with friends enjoying a meal on a restaurant patio looking out toward the mountains, it is easy to feel a connection to your friends, the restaurant, and the mountains. Likewise, you may see a vase or other item that your mother owns and think about memories you have when that vase sat on your grandmother’s table. This gives you a feeling of connection to both the vase and your grandmother. Likewise, you may fall in love with Rome when you visit, feel strong emotion toward a co-worker, or have a strong desire to purchase something that catches your eye.

 

Physically Disconnected

 

On the other hand, it is often far more difficult to feel this deep of a connection at a distance. A restaurant that you have never eaten at is simply a restaurant. Similarly, a vase that you have only heard about or seen in photographs is simply a vase. It might be intriguing because it belonged to your grandmother and you may be interested in it. However, it is not the same as if you have memories of it. Likewise, photos and videos of Rome may pull you into its charm. However, it is different than when you have a personal connection and memories after visiting the city.

 

This is why it is easiest to have emotions and empathy toward people you know personally. You may have emotions and empathy for others, but it is not the same as when you have a strong personal connection. Shared experiences and memories are driving factors in creating strong personal bonds.

 

Out of Sight

 

Now, what may be a very strong connection today can lose that connect when you are somewhere else, with other people, or not looking at an object. In some cases, these people, places, and things may come in and out of your conscious mind on a regular basis. In other cases, your memory may not be jogged until someone or something is mentioned. Or, alternately, you may only think of them when you next see them.

 

In these cases, you are not maintaining strong connections with these people, places, and things. When they are out of sight, they are out of mind.

 

Why?

 

A good question to ask yourself is “What have I put out of my mind?” You might want to ask yourself if there is a particular reason why you have placed that person, place, or object at a distance despite feeling a strong connection to it each time you are together.

 

Consider what things tend to slip your mind. Perhaps you occasionally talk to a friend and each time you talk about how you need to get together sometime. You plan to call and make arrangements, but it doesn’t happen. This would be a prime candidate for a person who falls into the “Out of sight, out of mind” category. Similarly, if every time you see a piece of art, you say to yourself, “I am going to save up so I can purchase that,” but then you go back to your life and forget about it until you see it again, it is also in this category. You feel a pull, but it isn’t strong enough to make you act.

 

So, are you forgetting someone, some place, or something? If so, what are you missing out on because you aren’t keeping your connection to them or it in your conscious mind?

 

 

 

So often people talk of change without really thinking about the effort they must make to create change. In many cases, the change they desire is simply wishful thinking. The person wants a job that pays more, a new relationship, to travel, or to spend more time with family. However, they simply want them without being willing to make an effort to bring those things into their lives.

 

In many cases, these goals are achievable. However, they will not magically happen without focus and effort.

 

Making Space

 

Generally, if you want to add or change something to your life, you have to have room for that person, activity, etc. It is very much like a shelf. If you have a shelf that is completely packed with items, you can’t add another item to the shelf without removing something. The same is true with life in general.

 

Making space can relate to making physical space, but it can also include making time, being emotionally open, and having a willingness to accept new ideas.

 

What Is Serving You

 

The first thing to do is to survey your life and determine which objects, activities, etc. are still serving you and which are not. For example, if you want a new relationship, you may want to survey your home for items related to an ex. It is also important to ensure that you have mental and emotional space for a new relationship. Ask yourself, “What am I holding onto that relates to my ex?” Follow it with the simple question, “Why am I holding onto it?”

 

Likewise, if you want to pursue a hobby, but don’t ever seem to have the time, look at where you are spending your time. Clearly, there are some things that have to be done, but many things are not required. Do you really need to be on the PTA? Can you get someone to assist with the family reunion? Do you really need to watch so much TV? All these questions help you identify what is important to you. If the ways you are spending your time are all more important to you than the hobby you desire, you need to realize that it is your choice to do those things instead of the hobby.

 

Removing Unneeded Connections

 

Once you have identified those things that need change in order for you to change, it is important to remove or alter the connection with those items. For instance, if you have a chair that your ex bought, you might simply decide to sell or donate the chair to remove the energy of your ex. However, you may love that chair and need it for seating. In this case, it may be more practical to do an energy clearing or to transform the chair in some way. Painting, reupholstering, or even moving the chair may help in changing the energy of the chair.

 

The most important thing, however, is to ensure that you view the chair differently. If you still think of your ex every time you sit in it, you have not yet removed the connection to your ex. It is important to release your ex and begin seeing the chair as simply your chair.

 

Likewise, you need to make room emotionally for a new person. If you are always thinking about how things were with your ex, there will be no room for anyone new. An excellent way to achieve the release of old emotions is to recognize what positive your gained from the relationship, whether the relationship was good or bad. Show gratitude for those positive things and then simply release the person. There are several ways this can be achieved and you may even have your own ritual that you would like to use to release old, unneeded emotions.

 

Building New Connections

 

Once you ensure that you have room in your life for that which you desire, it is important to start building connections toward your desired outcome. In the case of relationships, this can include taking action to go out and meet people, joining an on-line dating service, or making sure that you are in the best shape you can be. All these things start to build connections toward supporting a new relationship.

 

In the case of a new job, you might simply update your resume, start scanning the internet for job openings, and start talking to friends about your desire for a new job. These actions send messages out to the Universe allowing the Universe to assist in creating the ultimate connection that you desire.

 

If you are truly committed to change and you follow these steps, you may be surprised at what will change in your life!

 

If you need assistance making space in your life for change, contact us. We offer several services that assist with this process.

 

connecting in 2020

 

 

Welcome to 2020! Or, as Barbara Walters would say, “I’m Barbara Walters, and this is 2020.

 

Twenty-twenty is a great number with the potential to be an amazing year. Only once in a century are the first two digits of the year and the second two digits of the year the same. So, this is your one chance to experience this phenomenon – unless you are currently 100 years old or plan to hang around till 2121.

 

Perfect Vision

 

Dates like 1919 and 2020 roll easily off the tongue making them candidates to be included in advertising and more. However, 2020 is much more. It is also associated with having perfect vision. Both eyesight and hindsight can be 20/20. Thus, many believe that 2020 has the potential to be a wonderful and insightful year.

 

Connect & Reconnect

 

In order to create a wonderful 2020 for yourself, consider making connecting and re-connecting a daily habit. Connecting can come in many forms: connecting with people, physically or virtually, connecting objects, connecting ideas and more.

 

When desiring to connect with people, look around you. Are there people that you encounter regularly with whom you really never connect? They are a great place to start. Try to understand their point of view, their feelings and who they really are. Extend this practice to new people that you meet. And, consider reconnecting with people from your past.

 

New Eyes

 

Similarly, look at activities, passions, and objects with new eyes. Do those things speak to you differently now than they did in the past? Connect to them in new ways. Also, consider reconnecting with an activity or a passion that you sat aside years ago when life got busy or you were encouraged to focus elsewhere.

 

Connect The Dots

 

Consider how other things are connected. Connect the dots between behaviors and actions. Look for connections between very different things and find an entirely new perspective. For example, Steve Jobs sat in on a calligraphy class where he learned about serif and sans serif typefaces (fonts). He was fascinated by the artistry of the characters. At the time, it was simply something that peaked his interest. However, later he applied what he learned and created a choice of fonts for Mac – something that was unheard of in the computing world at that time.

 

Steve Jobs’ connection between calligraphy and computer fonts not only changed the world of computing, but extended into digital media, print media, and beyond. Yet, he had no idea when he was learning calligraphy where it would lead.

 

At a graduation speech at Stanford years later he said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

 

Yesterday – Today – Tomorrow

 

So, as you go through 2020 consider if something you have encountered in the past applies to what you are doing today – even if they are two very different things. Also, pay close attention to the things you are now encountering as they may apply to something tomorrow.

 

In the words of Doc Brown (Back to the Future), “Your future hasn’t been written yet. No one’s has. Your future is whatever you make it. So make it a good one.”

 

 

 

 

 

After a recent death in the family, I helped the family clean the house.   As is true in many cases of an unexpected death, time was limited as family members were in town for only a few days.

 

Tossing Things

 

Although time was of the essence, it was difficult to see so many things going into the dumpster. New packages of things that could be used by someone landed in a trash bag. Still, many items discarded were things that couldn’t be sold or donated. So, I took a deep breath as we tossed them in the trash.

 

When it came to small appliances, dishes, and other household items, I volunteered to take them to a donation center so that they wouldn’t simply be thrown away.  I even salvaged a few items as they were going into the trash because I knew they were valuable or usable by others.

 

This experience was a great reminder of the throw-away society that we have become. I cannot imagine the average person 100 years ago throwing away anything usable. Of course, they had less actual things in their homes and had lots of children to divide things between.

 

Picking Up Energy

 

Given that things we have in our homes and touch with our hands pick up our energy, I started wondering what a throw-away society meant to the world energetically. In the days of old, household objects were used until no longer usable. In many cases,  items were passed down from generation to generation. This brought forth the energy of the family to new generations.

 

These items were durable and lasted for years and years. In contrast, many things today are designed only to last for a single use. Even things designed to last longer are rarely designed to last even the entire lifetime of one person. Instead, each of these items are discarded when people are done with them, which can simply mean that they have grown tired of the item or used it a time or two.

 

Losing Energy

 

If we consider that each item picks up a bit of our energy, we must assume that a part of our energy is lost each time an item is discarded. So, instead of our homes being full of the energy of our family and our ancestors as in the past, we now have pockets of emptiness.

 

The solution is simple. Use less one-time use items. Keep select items from our family (you don’t have to keep everything). Lastly,  carefully purchase items with the idea that we will keep them for a long time. By making these changes our homes will have a wealth of energy and the gaps will be fewer. This strength of energy is important in order to fully connect our energy to the world!

 

Coming soon: Part II – “When It No Longer Serves You”

 

 

 

Everyday we ride an emotional roller coaster. We can leave work feeling great because we completed a major project or made a huge sale. The feeling of joy plunges when we become angry because another driver cut us off. Then we reach home and feel so loved when our 2-footed or 4-footed loved ones greet us.

 

The Highs and Lows

 

While riding the emotional roller coaster called life, we often recognize the highs and the lows, but may not think a lot about the physical reaction to these emotions. Like a roller coaster, the physical effects of these emotions can be transient. Our blood pressure increases when we are angry with other drivers. However, it soon returns to normal. In this case, the incident on the roadway results in little or no residual effect on our overall well-being.

 

In some cases, it lasts a bit longer. Stress headaches or muscle strains gained on the ride or that occur as a result of our emotions being jostled about last longer. Perhaps, we feel them for a few hours or a whole day.

 

Linger Affects

 

Sometimes, however, situations can have a lingering effect on us. For example, when we experience strong emotional trauma, such as the loss of a loved one, the emotion can be quite intense and linger with us for a long period of time. Initially, this trauma may or may not have any physical effects on us. Any initial physical effects are likely to be transient – headache, sleeplessness, etc. However, it is the accumulation of the emotion over time that holds the potential to have a greater impact on our health and wellbeing.

 

Underlying negative emotions that linger attack us day in and day out. Often this happens for a long period of time only to be followed by the discovery of a physical aliment. Many times people view this as an independent event and do not connect it to the emotion that they have been harboring. Others have a sudden “Ah ha!” moment and begin to wonder if there is a tie between the their emotion and the manifestation of the physical aliment.

 

Repetitive Emotions

 

Not all physical ailments that manifest from emotion come from traumatic events. People sometimes experience an emotion on a regular basis or hold on to an emotion. If this is a positive emotion, such as love, this is wonderful and very healthy. Unfortunately, it is often anger or another negative emotion. For example, politics, fueled by social media and media outlets, seems to put some people in a constant state of anger. That anger is unhealthy and needs to be released for the person’s own well-being.

 

Changing Our Reactions

 

We can start to change our reactions to negative emotions by being conscious of the connection between our emotions on our physical well-being. Recognition that we no longer need to be at the mercy of these emotions is the first step.

 

The second step is to choose to release our connection to negative emotions. We can begin that process by recognizing that the situation causing these emotions will pass. After all, do we really want to be emotionally invested in something that may physically harm us, This is especially true since the harm often comes after the issue has become less important or is no longer relevant. t

 

Once we make this choice, we can begin to release the emotion. However, releasing the connection to negative emotions is not easy. These negative emotions are the most intense emotions and they linger with us the longest. We also tend to rehash the negative emotions, which reinforces the recall of the situation and has a tendency to intensify the emotions.

 

It is important to see situations that lead to negative emotions for what they are. In some cases, they are traumatic and life changing. However, often we hold onto emotions related to events that aren’t life changing and aren’t really traumatic. We must consciously remind ourselves that it is acceptable and healthy to let go of these negative emotions.

 

Positive Memories Are Healthy

 

Human nature seems to be attuned to looking at the bad. It is a way of survival and seeking answers. Yet, looking for the good in situations or positive memories to replace the bad is very healthy. It isn’t always easy at first; however, it gets easier with practice. In the case of the loss of a loved one, it is far healthier to remember the good times – the laughter, the love – rather than focusing on the loss. By doing so we reinforce the positive emotions and we heal for our future well-being.

 

 

 

The bodies of living creatures are amazing. They are so intricately designed that if they didn’t exist, no mind could conceive of them. The interweaving of systems in the body is an incredible feat. Millions of instructions are processed every second to make a body perform correctly.

 

People take their bodies for granted until something happens that creates pain or diminishes the capability of some part of the body. Then, the person reports that their arm hurts or their back hurts. Sometimes it is that simple. The person strained a single muscle and caring for the muscle resolves the issue.

 

Causes of Pain

 

Many times, however, the issue is more complicated.  The pain or lack of movement that a person experiences may arise from a different location in the body.  Sometimes, it isn’t even  a single issue that causes the problem, but a series of different issues. All of this comes about because the body is complex and functions are intertwined.

 

For instance, pressure on a nerve in the spine can result in shoulder pain.  The issue can have very little to do with the shoulder itself.  It is simply the location the pain manifests. Likewise, pressure on the right place on your foot might be felt in your head or arm. Modalities, such as reflexology and acupuncture, utilize this interconnectivity to relieve pain.

 

Difficult Diagnosis

 

The infinite number of connections in the human body is also the reason that diagnosis and healing are often very challenging. A single symptom can sometimes be one of several for many different ailments. This is why medical history including any falls, accidents, or surgeries is so critical.

 

Still, this information may not be enough to truly understand and heal the issue as the connections go beyond the physical body. For instance, a person who feels they have no reason to live is unlikely to heal.  All the right diagnosis can be made and all the correct treatments can be applied, but healing will not occur. Thus, a person’s emotions and mindset are also very interconnected with the physical interworkings of their body.

 

Complete Healing

 

Given the intricate physical and mental interconnections of human beings, only partial healing, at best, can be achieved when only visible symptoms are addressed. This is why it is essential to address the whole person to create complete healing.

 

 

 

 

As you may have noticed, this year we’ve shifted the focus of our blog posts and re-titled it Connecting. We have chosen this focus because everything in existence involves making connections. Those of you who enjoyed our Pay Attention blog or our Imagine If blog need not worry as both concepts will be found within Connecting.

 

Flavors of Connections

 

Connections come in many flavors.   There are things where the connection is physical and obvious, such as, a fingernail is clearly attached to a finger, the finger to the hand, the hand to the wrist, etc. These connections are observable to the naked eye. A scientist might, however, describe these connections with more precision and in ways that are not visible without special equipment. Those descriptions are also physical. The details are just not obvious to the casual observer.

 

Similarly, there are connections that are emotional, such as, connecting Christmas with family. A particular home or set of activities may be involved, but no physical connection exists. Yet, when you think of Christmas, you might immediately think of being with family.

 

Similarly, you might associate both horses and tractors with transportation. Unless you are talking about a horse drawn carriage, there isn’t a physical connection. My Grandfather might have made an emotional tie between the two because he loved his horses and was heartbroken when they were replaced by motorized equipment. However, most of us make this connection because of something we learned – a mental connection.

 

Lastly, connections can be spiritual.   The power of prayer is an excellent example for those that believe. It can’t be empirically proven, but prayer seems to perform miracles.

 

Connection Game

 

Connections go far deeper and cover many more situations than are initially obvious in the above scenarios. By playing a simple game we play with students to teach creative problem solving, you can begin to see how everything is connected. That game consists of searching for as many connections as you can between two seemingly unrelated objects, ideas, beliefs, etc. For example, how is a dog related to a banana? If you don’t come up with something initially, challenge yourself. We have yet to find any two things without a connection.

 

More The Same Than Different

 

The world today teaches people to see the differences, yet things are more connected than they are different. If you look at two different people, for example, they may look very different based on gender, race, height, etc.; however, humans share more than 99.9% of the same DNA. So, there is biological connectivity between all human beings that goes far deeper than physical characteristics.

 

What about our beliefs? Although most the time you wouldn’t know it, there is a significant amount of connectivity in our personal, political, and religious ideologies. For instance, most people believe in the concept of family. Now, some believe in monogamy while others believe in plural marriage. Still, at the core is the idea of family. Likewise, most religions believe in a higher power or universal power giving life to the idea that there is something more.

 

And, lastly we arrive at the dreaded politics. No matter your political views it is guaranteed that there are people with your general set of beliefs that are truly working toward what they believe to be the good of the people and the good of the country. It is equally true that there are others who are working toward their own power and not the good of anyone else. Those working for good may disagree on how to achieve the goals, but they share more goals than most people realize. The challenge is to find the connections and focus on them instead of focusing on the disagreements.

 

Pay Attention

 

As you can see in these few examples, everything in life involves connections. Those connections range from the obvious to the overlooked to the ones that you really need to think about and consider. Once you are paying attention and open to seeing connections, they will start jumping out at you from every angle. You might even start imaging what life would be like if we focused on the commonality and connections instead the differences.

 

Read our new blogs post each Tuesday and Friday to get a glimpse into some of the connections that we see around us!

 

 

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