Deciding to heal

 

 

By the time most people are adults they have likely encountered multiple physical, emotional, and mental struggles – a broken bone, a lost loved one, or stress over school. Most of what is experienced is temporary. Broken bones, for example, heal with time. Meanwhile, school assignments come and go, leaving a void to be filled. It is the emotional hurt that often presents the most challenges to healing.

 

Emotional trauma isn’t fleeting nor can one define how long an individual will require to heal from it. If a person doesn’t heal from grief, for example, they may suffer the rest of their lives over the loss of a parent, child, spouse, or sibling. The same is true of other types of emotional trauma, such as, a parent instilling guilt into their child in an effort to get the child to do what the parent desires.

 

Not only does emotional trauma not heal overnight, it can manifest as physical ailments. For example, some people suffer from stress headaches because they feel that they can never be good enough to meet other people’s expectations. Likewise, some people have pain in their neck and shoulders from figuratively carrying the weight of the world on their shoulder (i.e. feeling too much responsibility). Additionally, there have been some studies that correlate emotional trauma with the manifestation of illnesses, such as cancer, where the disease manifests a couple years after the person experiences trauma.

 

Making the Decision to Heal

 

There have been a number of cases where someone is diagnosed with a condition, sometimes life threatening, where the patient sets a strong intention to heal. These people may experience improvement in their health despite a dim prognosis and some may experience complete healing. Not everyone experiences miraculous healing; however, there are enough cases that show healing is possible if someone sets a true intent to heal.

 

Deciding to heal is more than a person making an implicit or explicit statement that they have decided to heal. There has to be true intent to heal that involves having the emotional desire and the belief that healing is possible coupled with taking physical actions to heal. This is true whether the condition is a physical, emotional, or mental ailment. Healing from emotional grief, for example, means that you physically return to doing some activity that you love.

 

Healing In Action

 

I personally know several people that have made an intention to heal, including myself. In my case, I had a stroke, but I simply believed I would heal. I didn’t consider any other options despite the opinions of the medical professionals. Someone else in my situation, might have just accepted the medical professionals’ opinions and given up or become depressed. However, I just ignored their prognosis and kept working to heal. Today, I am not 100% of what I was before the stroke, but I am doing far better than the doctors believed I would be.

 

In another case, an acquaintance was diagnosed with a tumor. After receiving her diagnosis, she decided to heal by using her gifts in energy healing. She was not able to completely remove the tumor. However, with her effort, the tumor shrank and moved away from critical organs, making it less risky to remove.

 

In another miraculous case, an acquaintance was nearly unable to leave her home because of multiple medical conditions. After she decided she couldn’t live that way, she started getting intuitive hints as to what to do to help her condition. She used nutrition and energy work to completely change her life. Her illness has been in remission for several years and her doctors are completely baffled.

 

Taking Shortcuts

 

In our desire to heal quickly, sometimes we attempt to take shortcuts. A person who experienced the loss of a loved one, for example, may continue their daily routines and deny the emotions they are feeling. On the surface, it may appear that the person moved quickly through the grieving process and has moved on with their life. On the inside, however, the person may be carrying around an emotional pressure cooker. A minor upset may trigger the person to explode with emotions that would seem excessive for the situation. In this case, the person did not truly heal, but simply ignored the healing process.

 

The same could be applied to physical rehab and mental health. I’m sure we all know someone who had a physical injury and returned to their activities too soon and ended up aggravating the injury. This is really what happened in the case of emotional trauma. The person returned to normal life too quickly and aggravated the trauma making it worse than it would have been had they worked through the grieving process.

 

Taking Action In Your Life

 

Survey yourself to see if there are any issues or past traumas – physical, emotional, or mental – that require healing. Recognizing there is an issue is the first step in beginning the process of true healing.

 

Now, imagine what your life would be like if you truly healed. Envision that issue completely gone from your life. If that is something that you would like to experience, you can set an intent to heal. Remember that you must have both the desire to heal and the belief that you can heal.

 

Once you are truly committed to healing, take actions for healing. Let your intuition and your heart guide you as you work toward a healthy you. With true intent and continual effort you will have the opportunity to experience a more fulfilling and joyful life.

 

The Art of Forgiveness

 

 

It is easy to gripe and complain about everything from work to family stresses to world politics. However, it is much more gratifying to seek out the good in everyone and everything along your path. It is easy to say, “But, so many things really are wrong with the world” or “Nobody gives good service” or “This person isn’t pulling their weight.” All of these things may be true, but seeing all the negative in the world serves no purpose.

 

Implications

 

This does not imply in any way that you do something reckless. You can’t  just assume the other person is a good person. You still need to be aware of your surroundings and follow your intuition about people and situations. However, it does directly imply that you should look for a speck of optimism in the most hopeless situations.  Likewise, your should find something positive to hold onto in everything – even bad experiences.

 

Experimenting

 

Try experimenting with looking for something good, positive, or optimistic. Start with simple easy situations. When a restaurant’s service is slow, don’t grumble and complain. Instead, realize that you are being given time to enjoy your companions. Alternately, if you are alone, you can spend the time relaxing. 

 

If you are in a rush and this happens, realize that you may be getting the message to slow down. You can also consider that perhaps you are learning that this restaurant is not a place to go for a quick meal, which may be useful information in the future.

 

Likewise, try giving a positive word or a smile to people that you encounter. Smiling and saying, “Hello” costs no more than scowling and ignoring people. That word or smile may make the other person’s day and it is guaranteed that acting in a negative way will do nothing to benefit anyone – especially you.

 

Additionally, notice small things (and big things) that people do – mowing the lawn, helping with a problem, cooking dinner, or taking out the trash. These are all positive things in the world. When you really look for the positive, the world changes into a much better place than it seems if you let all the negativity overwhelm you.

 

Transformation

 

As you find more and more positive things in the world, you may find yourself transforming from a critic to a cheerleader. You will find yourself expressing gratitude more often, you will be on the receiving end of more smiles, and will find more and more positive things in the world. Most of all, when you replace a negative thought, action, or word with a positive one, your energy level is raised and your heart is satisfied.

 

behind the facade

 

 

As a child, my mother insisted that we keep the drapes closed at all times. I assume she was worried about protecting the family since she was a single working mother. My dad had died just after my sixth birthday. Therefore, I don’t really remember if she had a similar concern when he was alive.

 

All I know is that she never wanted anyone to see into the house. This became readily apparent one beautiful day when I dared to open the living room drapes. I was severely reprimanded as soon as my mom arrived home.

 

Of course, she also never wanted to be seen by anyone when she wasn’t looking her best. I assumed it was partially because she wanted to be attractive to men. Thus, she was always looking her best when she went anywhere.

 

Others Are Judging

 

Later, I realized that these behaviors were tied, in part, to her belief that she knew how others were judging her. Thus, she felt compelled to show people what she thought they wanted to see so that they would think highly of her. She was concerned with what others thought of her and made sure to show them what she believed they wanted to see. When she wasn’t prepared to show that image, she wanted to remain hidden.

 

I believe everyone does this to some extent.  Most of us put on our best business look for job interviews, are just a bit sweeter than normal when talking to a new love interest, and act a bit different at church than at home. However, there are those that rarely show their authentic self. Instead, they hide behind a façade of what they think people want to see. Those are the ones that are perpetually disconnected.

 

Some of those people end up feeling as if they have lost their identity. They may go through life without ever acknowledging their own value. These types of people constantly put others first and are often everyone’s go to person when they need something. Yet, these people often do not feel valued.

 

Hiding The True Self

 

Other people hide behind the façade as an escape from reality. For instance, a woman may not feel beautiful, thus, she will over-beautify herself. Similarly, a man may feel that he isn’t as good a provider as he believes he should be. In that situation, he may exaggerate his job responsibilities and income.

 

Others have, for one reason or another, come to believe that others’ views of them is critically important to their success and worth to society. These people often create judgments of themselves and attribute them to others. If they actually bothered to have a conversation and learn about other people’s perspectives, they might learn that the people that they are trying so hard to impress, don’t actually have the judgments that they believe they do.

 

Being Authentic

 

A person needs to show their authentic self in order to connect. Hiding behind facades prevents true connections.

 

In our next article “To Judge and Be Judged,” we will discuss the phenomena of people that judge they are being judged.

 

 

 

Whether or not you believe in the Bible and the end of the world as described in Revelations, one must be amused at the people who believe they can predict the exact day and time that the world will end. So far, each one has been a complete failure.

 

The Changing Story

 

The funniest of all are those who change their story as their predicted end of the world date approaches or passes. They have found a slight miscalculation or new information that reframes the actual end to a date five, ten, or fifteen years into the future.

 

Yet, there are many people who are not extremists that believe they see signs that the world is ending. This has happened throughout history. Like the predictions from fanatics, these signs have proven not to be actual signs over and over again.

 

Patterns

 

The question is, “Why do people continue to see these signs?” The answer is simple. People are creators of patterns and see patterns everywhere. Where patterns do not exist or are not obvious, people use their creative mind to invent patterns. Therefore, when events happen in the world, it is easy for those focused on the Bible and Revelations in particular to select events from the world that “match” the events described in the Bible verses.

 

The Signs

 

Wars, volcanoes, storms, and more can easily be interpreted to be the signs that are described within the Bible. But are they? And, does it matter?

 

I am not a Bible expert, but as a thinking person, I have to wonder why one volcano or series of volcanoes would be a sign of the end of times, but another volcano would not. We know that they have been happening throughout time and clearly the world has not ended. However, one website indicates that the end of times started in 1914. They don’t speculate, however, on when the world will actually end. Obviously,

 

The second question has an obvious answer. No, it does not matter if these events are signs of the end of the world or not. If people see parallels and that somehow changes their life, they are making a choice. Their choice has nothing to do with the actual end of the world. It simply means that something triggered that person to live their life differently. It may make the person’s life better or worse depending on the choices that they made.

 

Parallels

 

If there are signs that the world is ending and we totally ignore them that is okay, too. People can and will find parallels between current events and the end of the world. They will also find parallels between the death of President Kennedy and President Lincoln. Likewise, parallels can be drawn between ancient Rome and the U.S.A. today.

 

Choices

 

In reality, life is about choices. You can find connections or parallels between ANY two events happening today or at any time in history. The question is, “Are you going to choose to pay attention to those parallels or not?” And, if so, “What life choices are you going to make? Are they going to improve your life and the lives of others?”

 

 

 

It is common to hear people say how important it is to let negative emotions go. But, most people are challenged to actually make it happen. They believe in the concept, but making it a reality is lots of work and requires a lot of determination and self-love.

 

Besides being generally happier, letting go of toxic relationships and emotions is good for a person’s long-term physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. Yet, people often harbor negative emotions regarding a person, company, or situation for days, weeks, months, and even years. If not released, negativity accumulates and strengthens. It can affect a person in many different ways including manifesting as physical ailments.

 

Now, what if you have harbored negative feelings about a person for years and you find that you are genetically related to that person? Learning of this connection can be devastating to people.

 

Consider the situation where there was a friend of the family that you just couldn’t stand being around when you were growing up. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but you just felt disgust toward this man. Over the years, you could never manage to let it go. Later, you find out that he was once your mother’s boyfriend and he is indeed your birth father instead of the man you call Dad.   Learning your birth father isn’t the person you thought is crushing. However, it is even more difficult when you find that your real birth father is someone you harbor negative feelings towards.

 

Alternately, you could have had a rough breakup. You haven’t been able to have a good relationship since the breakup. You can’t get over the pain of the relationship. The mere thought of your ex still makes your gut churn. Then, one day, you are doing genealogy and discover that your ex is actually a distant cousin. It is like a two by four just hit you, deepening your wound. Not only did this person leave you wounded, they are also related to you.

 

Perhaps even worse would be the discovery that you are genetically related to someone you have not forgiven for physical or mental harm they did to someone you love. You may have spent years being angry at this person for a serious crime like assault, rape, or murder. To find you are related to them feels as if your soul is being ripped out.

 

Learning of these connections can be challenging in the best of circumstances. However, being in a good place emotionally can definitely make the news of the connection easier. A new connection may never be uncovered between you and someone you harbor negative feelings towards. However, if it is, being in a good place emotionally is essential.

 

We all know that we need to get rid of the negativity in our lives and this is just one more reason to do it. If you think it can’t happen to you, you might be surprised. These examples are generalizations based on real situations that have happened.

 

While you are clearing out this negativity, give yourself permission to release the negativity you have toward people who you already know are your genetic connections. If you have anger toward your siblings, parent, or others, know that holding onto it serves no purpose.

 

Remember, you are all related. For instance, if you are angry at your mother, consider that she not only gave you life, but you also share about 50% of your DNA with her (yeah I know, you didn’t get THAT DNA). Therefore, being angry with your mother is a bit like being angry at part of yourself. That should make you want to release the anger; however, many people spend lots of time being angry with themselves.

 

If you find yourself having negative feelings toward yourself, start by releasing those feelings. Nothing can be more impacting to you than positive or negative feelings toward yourself. Know that you do not have to hold onto negative feelings.  With work, they can be replaced with feelings of love and kindness.

 

Once you conquer the challenge of releasing negativity toward yourself, branch out to your family, friends, and even those who have wronged you. Although you may never uncover an unknown genetic connection, letting go of the negativity ensures that such a discovery would be easier to handle.

 

No matter your situation, letting go of negative emotions will have a positive impact on your life. Releasing negativity is healthy and it allows you to move forward with your life.

 

So, stay positive! You never know where it will lead in life.