The Power Of Energy

Everything in this universe is made of energy. The power of energy is amazing and can create wonderful things. Likewise, it can also be used to manifest the worst of things.

 

Energy manifests people, trees, mountains, houses, planets, horses, diseases, and emotions. We identify each thing as unique with specific words that describe them. However, at the core, they remain energy. With time and the right circumstances, each one can be transformed into something different.

 

Spoon Bending

 

Spoon BendingThe transformation of energy can readily be demonstrated using spoon bending. A spoon can easily be bent without a hammer or other tools by simply getting into the correct frame of mind. Some people will still need to put mild pressure on the spoon, but for others it will simply melt in their hands curling around into a new shape.

 

Some people believe this is stage magic, but it is not. I have personally bent spoons, witnessed others bending spoons, and have successfully taught people that knew nothing about spoon bending how to transform a spoon. The only magic to it is opening up your mind to the possibilities.

 

Fighting

 

Now, lets consider the current world situation. COVID-19 is still raging across the world. People are fighting about everything. Some are fighting over the effectiveness of medicines and masks to fight the virus. Others are fighting against oppression. And, others are fighting against everything American. At the same time, people aren’t allowed to gather with family and friends. Church services are prohibited or limited out of caution.

 

The bottom line is that a huge amount of the collective energy in the world is currently focused on negativity, which in turn manifests more negativity.

 

Turning It Around

 

We, as the collective citizens of earth, have the ability to turn the tide toward the positive. All we have to do is to set our intent on all the positive possibilities. For instance, focusing on statements, such as, “Americans will be wearing masks for years,” brings forward the image of masks forever. This energy holds the virus here and doesn’t allow it to be released. On the other hand, if we focus our energy on a world that is free of COVID-19, it makes room for healing and for the virus to be eliminated.

 

The same can be said of all the other negativity that is manifesting in our country. For instance, the idea of equality and equal treatment by the police is an honorable one. However, when the issue is hijacked and exploited by people with other agendas, the movement loses its original intent. Instead, it has bread violence and negativity that go far beyond the issue at hand. In this situation, we can help by focusing our energy on having a country where every person is treated with respect and dignity.

 

World Shift

 

Now, you might not believe that we really have the power to make this type of shift in the world. It is okay to be skeptical. All I would ask is that you observe your personal world and give it a try.

 

COVID-19

 

To do this, consider where you focus your energy. For COVID-19, do you focus on fear of you or a loved one getting the virus? Do you focus on whether people wear masks or do you feel compelled to pressure people to wear masks? If the answer to any of these questions is, “Yes,” then you are holding onto the virus.

 

Now, this doesn’t mean that you have to take unnecessary risks. Instead, it means that you take the proper precautions that you feel are necessary for you and your family while remaining optimistic that this virus can be beat. If you are having difficulty being optimistic, stay away from the news and the statistics. Instead, find something positive to do. Help someone or focus on personal growth.

 

Equality

 

The same can be applied to the equal treatment of people. First, be a survivor, not a victim. Don’t allow yourself to be bullied into feeling things that you don’t. Otherwise, you will no longer be your authentic self. Second, check your focus. Are you focusing on how horrible the police or other people are? Do you consider all people of any group racist, horrible, or any other negative adjective? If you do, consider starting from the perspective that most people are good people. Again, don’t take unnecessary risks. There are people that will harm you. However, if you look beyond the color of the person’s skin, their politics, and their religion, you may find that the person is a good person. Amazingly, you may even find that you have a lot in common.

 

Personal Transformation

 

Self-observation, reflection, and movement toward positive energy are key steps toward transforming yourself. With this transformation, you will change your life. By changing your life, you will change the life of others around you. The change just continues to grow and grow until the energy reaches a point where it tilts the overall energy from the negative to the positive. Once that happens, you have become a part of changing the world and making it a better place to live.

 

To learn more about personal transformation, check out our articles “Opening the Door to Change” and “Look for the Good in Everything.” Additionally, you may wish to check out Charles Cox’s blog post “Essentials of Personal Transformation.”

 

Be a survivor

My grandfather believed that if something bad happened to you or your family that you simply carry on. It happened. It is a fact. Furthermore, he never thought for a moment that you should stop and wallow in what happened. You do need to process what has happened as moving on without working through the issue can be harmful. However, you can’t let the bad things in life define you if you want to be a survivor.

 

Being A Victim

 

The negative situation could be a circumstance, an event, etc. You may have been born very poor, you may have been attacked, been adopted, or may have been verbally abused. In the moment, it is reasonable to consider yourself a victim of the situation. However, you don’t have to remain a victim.

 

It is all about where you focus your energy. If you focus your energy on being a victim, you have no chance to move forward. You are guaranteed to remain a victim.

 

Anything Is Possible

 

On the other hand, you can make the choice to focus your energy on surviving and moving forward. In some circumstances, a positive focus can be extremely challenging. However, a positive focus is always an option.

 

Part of a positive focus is simply starting from the perspective of what you can do instead of what you cannot do. Be willing to take steps forward. Then, surround yourself, as much as possible, with strong people that support you.

 

Dr. Ben Carson, Secretary of Housing and Urban Development and retired neurosurgeon, is an excellent role model for survivors. After his mother found out her husband was a bigamist, she raised him and his brother alone. They were poor and she only had a third grade education to rely on.

 

Despite those limitations, she knew education was important and she believed in her sons. She insisted Ben spend time reading and learning. He found over time that he enjoyed learning. His focus on education paid off. Ben showed that if you focus your energy on surviving and moving forward, anything is possible.

 

Ability

 

So, if someone tells you fractions are hard, you have a choice. You can unconsciously comply with their statement or you can show you are a survivor by conquering them.

 

Likewise, if you are told you can’t do something because you are a girl. Realize that being a girl is simply a fact. Some limitations do exist based on societal norms or physical limitations. However, for the most part, your gender does limit your possibilities.

 

Don’t fall victim to other people’s “rules.” If you want to do something, stand up and say, “I can do it.”

 

Medical Issues

 

The same is true when faced with a medical issue. If you find out that you have a disease, you can become a victim and assume that you have no chance to overcome it. On the other hand, you can fight it with your heart and soul.

 

Similarly, some people just know that they are going to get the common cold, the flu, or COVID-19. They are “victims” before they are ever exposed. This belief actually makes these people more susceptible the virus. On the other hand, if you are strong and take a survivor mindset, you stay safer from the virus.

 

Negative Events

 

Although anyone can be victimized, having a mindset of a victim can make a person more vulnerable to negative events. Similarly, those events can control the person’s life if they continue to have that mindset.

 

However, if the person has the mindset of a survivor, they will have a much greater chance of moving past the event – no matter how awful the event was. This doesn’t mean that there is no pain. It simply means that the pain does not control the person’s life. It is with survivor attitude that nearly everything can be conquered.

 

Be A Survivor

 

The theme song to the show Reba says, “My roots are planted in the past.” This is true for each person. You can’t escape facts and it is no use trying. You can’t change who you are or what you have experienced.

 

However, the song goes on to say, “Who I am is who I want to be.” Again, this is true for each person. You have choices and you can decide what defines you.

 

In the end, if, like Reba, you have “the heart of a fighter,” you will be able to say, “I’m a survivor!”

 

Words Matter

People often view their words as harmless. In their mind, stories they tell about themselves and others are simply truths, fun, or humor. The issue is that words matter because the stories a person tells contributes to creating the future.

 

Self-Talk

 

The stories that people tell about themselves sets expectations, at least subconsciously, for the future. If you talk about your marriage failing, you are setting yourself on a path to divorce. Likewise, if you talk about losing your job, you are energizing the prospect of getting laid off or fired.

 

Thus, it is very important to avoid negative self-talk. If a person sees himself or herself as successful, they are likely with hard work to be successful. However, if the person sees himself or herself as failing, the person will have little chance of success. Since the person is expressing a negative outcome, it will impact the actions they take, their interactions with people, and the opportunities the universe brings them.

 

Other People

 

When this talk extends to other people, the person making the statement is putting their expectations and beliefs on the other person. That person may react with rebellion and fight back against those beliefs. However, they also may take on those beliefs as their own. When those beliefs include positive actions and outcomes, taking those beliefs on isn’t such a bad thing. However, when those beliefs and statements are limiting, it can be very bad.

 

Children

 

Negative statements are especially difficult on children. They hear these statements and they can be significantly impacted psychologically and emotionally. The same is true for adults. Yet, children are more vulnerable. If the statements are made by a parent, teacher, or other trusted person, the words can have a greater impact possibly scarring a child for life.

 

One of the recent trends is memes about the awful home schooling experience.  Multiple memes focus on the idea that because kids are now doing remote school work, the parents finally understand it is their children that are the root of the problem and not the teachers. Meanwhile, others indicate the parents need to start drinking early in the morning or can’t handle their children. When I pointed out to someone that I felt these memes could have negative consequences, they said, “Oh, it is just for fun.”

 

Is It Really Humor?

 

Of course, it begs the question, “Is it really humor?” If a parent or teacher feels compelled to post or like a meme about home schooling being awful, they should look inside and explore their motivation. What about it do they see as humorous. It says more about the adult than the child.

 

The fact of the matter is that whether it is for fun or not, it is still creating a reality. Consciously, the person may think it is fun, but their subconscious can’t  separate just for fun from it being actually true. In addition, consider if the person’s child sees the meme. If that child is in a vulnerable state, they may assume the parent and the teachers find them difficult or do not like them even if that was not the intent. To a child words matter more than adults can understand.

 

Power of Positive Talk

 

Whether a person talks to himself or herself, talks to or about someone else, or simply posts words in jest, the words matter. Thus, it seems logical to choose positive words that would bring good things into everyone’s lives. If we focus on positive words and images, we give those things energy. Thus, they can grow and blossom.

 

How We Can Help

 

If you struggle with negative self-talk or the effects of statements made to you throughout your life, consider some coaching or other energetic mind and body healing.

 

 

 

Connecting to Gratitude

Connecting to gratitude is one of the keys to healing, happiness, and moving forward. Although it sounds simple, it is often overlooked and sometimes quite challenging.

 

The Easy Stuff

 

It is easy to find good in many things. For instance, having a place to live and food to eat are both good. However, often people take these things for granted or simply accept them without gratitude.

 

The first step in connecting with gratitude is to start seeing these obviously good things as blessings. Prayer, meditation, notes of gratitude, or any other gratitude ritual will help create the connection to gratitude.

 

The Challenge

 

But, what about the bad things in life? Extra work is required to search for something positive worthy of gratitude when considering something that is overall bad. The reason is simple. Being in an emotionally abusive relationship, losing a job, and having an illness rarely have an obvious reason for gratitude. However, connecting to gratitude is very important. Without doing so, truly moving forward is next to impossible.

 

Learning that these experiences have made you who you are is very important to conquering this challenge. Except in cases where a person loathes themselves, it helps a person gain an understanding that value can come in many packages. To take that next step forward, it is critical to be able to give gratitude for those experiences, no matter how negative the situation.

 

Looking For The Light

 

Sometimes it takes a lot of searching to find light in something bad. One way to look at something bad is to look at what good has happened because of the bad situation. For instance, perhaps you wouldn’t have met a certain person, moved to a new city, or looked for a different job if the bad situation hadn’t happened.

 

For example, when I was a senior in college, a company interviewed me and wanted to hire me. The problem was that because of things going on in their industry they were not allowed to hire anyone. Now, this company was ideal for me. It paid well, had previously hired a lot of people from my college, and their offices where only a couple of hours away from my family.

 

It wasn’t something terribly bad, but definitely not good either. Fortunately, at the time, I just accepted it as fact and looked at other options. In retrospect, I am grateful that it didn’t work out. If they had been hiring, I likely wouldn’t have pursued working for Bell Labs. Thus, I likely wouldn’t have ended up living in Denver and I would never have met my husband.

 

People have situations that are much worse than the one I recounted. However, there is almost always something for which to be grateful.

 

Letting Go

 

If you are really struggling with finding good about something, it is likely that there are things that you need to let go. Perhaps you haven’t fully let go of a bad relationship or you keep ties to people at a company where you had an awful experience. In these cases, you need to ask if these continued relationships are serving you.

 

The same can be asked of objects that you choose to keep. If they are a reminder of something negative, ask yourself if you need them in your life today.

 

Additionally, you may continue to have an emotional attachment to the situation – no matter how bad it was. Anger, frustration, and even love can continue to hold you to the situation.

 

Once these emotions and other connections to bad situations have been resolved, you will be able to see beyond the negative. At that point, you can see that you became stronger, that your new job really is better for you, or something positive did come from the situation.

 

It can be very difficult to reach the point of being able to find gratitude for something related to a bad situation. After all, it is all very personal to you.

 

Forgiveness is Key

 

One of the keys to being able to express gratitude in negative situations is to forgive those involved in the bad situation. Once you truly forgive them, you can find light in what happened.

 

This shouldn’t be confused with justifying what happened or forgetting what happened. Neither should it be forgiving the person for their benefit. All of these are unhealthy actions. Instead, it should be forgiving for your benefit. To make you healthy. To make you whole.

 

Connecting to Gratitude

 

Start expressing gratitude for the little things and the things that you normally take for granted. Once you are able, express gratitude for the light in the bad things. The more you express gratitude for the light in all things; the more positive things will come your way.

 

If you would like assistance moving toward gratitude, we offer private sessions Forgiving and Releasing that will help you on your way.  Additionally, we offer a group event The Power of Forgiveness.

 

 

 

So often people talk of change without really thinking about the effort they must make to create change. In many cases, the change they desire is simply wishful thinking. The person wants a job that pays more, a new relationship, to travel, or to spend more time with family. However, they simply want them without being willing to make an effort to bring those things into their lives.

 

In many cases, these goals are achievable. However, they will not magically happen without focus and effort.

 

Making Space

 

Generally, if you want to add or change something to your life, you have to have room for that person, activity, etc. It is very much like a shelf. If you have a shelf that is completely packed with items, you can’t add another item to the shelf without removing something. The same is true with life in general.

 

Making space can relate to making physical space, but it can also include making time, being emotionally open, and having a willingness to accept new ideas.

 

What Is Serving You

 

The first thing to do is to survey your life and determine which objects, activities, etc. are still serving you and which are not. For example, if you want a new relationship, you may want to survey your home for items related to an ex. It is also important to ensure that you have mental and emotional space for a new relationship. Ask yourself, “What am I holding onto that relates to my ex?” Follow it with the simple question, “Why am I holding onto it?”

 

Likewise, if you want to pursue a hobby, but don’t ever seem to have the time, look at where you are spending your time. Clearly, there are some things that have to be done, but many things are not required. Do you really need to be on the PTA? Can you get someone to assist with the family reunion? Do you really need to watch so much TV? All these questions help you identify what is important to you. If the ways you are spending your time are all more important to you than the hobby you desire, you need to realize that it is your choice to do those things instead of the hobby.

 

Removing Unneeded Connections

 

Once you have identified those things that need change in order for you to change, it is important to remove or alter the connection with those items. For instance, if you have a chair that your ex bought, you might simply decide to sell or donate the chair to remove the energy of your ex. However, you may love that chair and need it for seating. In this case, it may be more practical to do an energy clearing or to transform the chair in some way. Painting, reupholstering, or even moving the chair may help in changing the energy of the chair.

 

The most important thing, however, is to ensure that you view the chair differently. If you still think of your ex every time you sit in it, you have not yet removed the connection to your ex. It is important to release your ex and begin seeing the chair as simply your chair.

 

Likewise, you need to make room emotionally for a new person. If you are always thinking about how things were with your ex, there will be no room for anyone new. An excellent way to achieve the release of old emotions is to recognize what positive your gained from the relationship, whether the relationship was good or bad. Show gratitude for those positive things and then simply release the person. There are several ways this can be achieved and you may even have your own ritual that you would like to use to release old, unneeded emotions.

 

Building New Connections

 

Once you ensure that you have room in your life for that which you desire, it is important to start building connections toward your desired outcome. In the case of relationships, this can include taking action to go out and meet people, joining an on-line dating service, or making sure that you are in the best shape you can be. All these things start to build connections toward supporting a new relationship.

 

In the case of a new job, you might simply update your resume, start scanning the internet for job openings, and start talking to friends about your desire for a new job. These actions send messages out to the Universe allowing the Universe to assist in creating the ultimate connection that you desire.

 

If you are truly committed to change and you follow these steps, you may be surprised at what will change in your life!

 

If you need assistance making space in your life for change, contact us. We offer several services that assist with this process.

 

 

By now, probably half of the New Year’s resolutions made have been broken. The reason is simple. People make resolutions in the moment often without a lot of thought. However, they don’t truly commit to change.

 

Setting Intention

 

Failed New Year’s resolutions don’t have to be the next chapter in your story. By making a strong intention around a resolution, you can change it from something that has a very low chance of success into something that can transform your life.

 

Start by creating a strong intention statement. A good intention statement is simple, easy to remember, is strongly connected to you, contains your emotions, is in your words, and contains positive action words.

 

For example, a common resolution is to exercise more in the coming year. That is a nice statement, but is not very powerful and a high percentage of the time people will fail to meet the goal. However, transforming that statement into an intention, such as “Exercising daily invigorates me and gives me amazing energy,” tells a different story. First, it is specific. Exercising daily is very different than a resolution to exercise more than last year. Secondly, it contains action and emotional energy.

 

Connecting

 

As important as it is to make the intention strong and full of emotion, you will only succeed if the words, your goals, your actions, and your rewards are strongly connected with who you are. For instance, if your reward is that it will make someone else happy or it is because the doctor says that it is good for you, you will struggle to keep your resolution.

 

Resolutions and intentions only work if they are for you. Thus, the connection to your words, your goals, etc. are of upmost importance. Once you decide to make a change for yourself, it becomes much more doable. You can set rewards for reaching goals that relate to who you are and what you hope to achieve. If you love to read, you can reward yourself with a new e-book for reaching a goal. However, if you love to cook, you might reward yourself with a cooking class or by making a favorite recipe.

 

Expectations

 

The expectation for most resolutions is that they will fail. If you are like most people, even a statement of “It will be different this time,” will likely be accompanied, at least internally, by doubt. The reason is simple. The word resolution has become synonymous with temporary attempt to change that will end in failure. The dictionary might not define it that way, but that is how people think of resolutions.

 

Therefore, even if you are committed to a change, just the word resolution will get eye rolls from the people around you. The word intention sets a very different expectation in your mind and the minds of the people around you. Even the word “intend” or “intention” sounds stronger than “resolution.”

 

You can intend a wonderful life into existence. Amazing things can happen, you just need to be open to them and expect that they will occur!

 

Healing Inside Out

 

 

When a person gets a cut or burn they usually apply an ointment or bandage to the affected area. Then, they watch while the wound scabs over or skin peels off revealing a healed layer of skin tissue. As people notice their wound healing, they will think, “My cut/burn is healing nicely.” They don’t really think about what is happening. Instead, they just assume the body is doing its job and healing.

 

Inside the human body, however, there is a lot of activity that occurs when an injury occurs. Depending on the injury, blood may clot, the area may become inflamed, white blood cells may swarm to the area, etc. Well-coordinated action is required by various systems from within the body so that the damage that occurred can be fixed.

 

If a person gets a broken bone, the doctor applies a cast to the outside and waits for the bone to fuse itself back together. As these examples point out, physical healing starts from within. The same can be said about other types of injuries such as emotional and mental trauma. Emotional and mental traumas are sometimes difficult to see on the outside. There are some people that appear to be so happy that you’d never realize that there is a battle going on inside. But, occasionally, even those people hint that they are suffering inside.

 

What is Healing Inside Out?

 

Whether a wound is physical, emotional, or mental, healing needs to come from within. For the physical, people can aid the body in mending the injury, but for the most part it is a biological response. There are cases, however, that show attitude, visualization, and other energy techniques can speed the recovery process producing results that cannot be explained purely by science.

 

Likewise, for emotional and mental issues, the healing must come from within. Yes, professionals help a person take the right steps to resolve their issues. However, they cannot do the healing work for a person. It is important to realize that there is no cast, bandage, or 12-step program that will fix emotional or mental trauma. Even when a person seeks assistance through energy workers, the healing ultimately comes from within him or her self.

 

Physical healing is usually obvious to the person and people around them. However, mental and emotional healing may also have externally visible results. Interactions become more authentic. Attitudes, words and other means of expressing oneself often change when healing occurs.

 

Changing Your Thoughts/Beliefs

 

There is no easy answer to how people begin to heal. One reason is because people are all different in what they experience and how they respond to those experiences. Two people, for example, may have a similar experience of falling flat on their face in front of a large audience, resulting in an outburst of laughter. One person may be very traumatized and never perform in public again. The other person may laugh it off and recount the story over and over again to all that will listen. Therefore, internal perspectives often are a major contributor in determining whether or not there is anything to heal.

 

Believe It is Possible

 

Beliefs and desires also affect the healing process. In order to heal, a person must first believe they can heal. If they do not, healing is not likely to occur. For example, if a person believes that they cannot overcome depression, they will be correct.

 

Desire

 

Similarly, the person must also have a desire to heal. Without this desire, healing is also unlikely. An example of a person without a desire to heal is someone who believes they gain something from having a physical, emotional, or mental ailment. The benefit might be attention, relationship bonds, or an excuse for not living their life.

 

Deserving

Another case is someone who believes they don’t deserve to heal. A person, for instance, who was belittled by their parent and feels that they are a victim, will be challenged to feel the desire to heal. In all these cases, they are unlikely to recover because their desire is lacking.

 

Since beliefs affect thoughts, which in turn affect energy, beliefs must be addressed to advance healing. It is only when someone truly believes in healing and has a strong desire to heal that healing occurs. When beliefs or desire is lacking, those issues must be addressed before moving forward. A person may need to review their belief system, build confidence to know they are worthy, or simply decide healing is something they are going to do.

 

Essentially, the person has to reprogram him or her self. They can start by changing their thoughts and their story. If a person sees himself or herself as a victim then that is who they will be. However, if a person believes they have control over their life, they will.

 

Open Yourself To Healing

 

If there is something you are struggling to overcome, ask yourself, “Do I believe I can overcome this condition or circumstance?” If not, then you have to figure out if that is true or just a limiting belief. Investigate all limiting beliefs to see if you can shift them to a healthier belief.

 

If you believe you can overcome the issue, ask yourself, “Do I have anything to gain from this condition or circumstance continuing?” If so, then a mind shift is needed to truly desire to heal. Ultimately, you must embrace the belief you can heal and the desire to heal. That’s when you can experience the miracle of healing.

 

Deciding to heal

 

 

By the time most people are adults they have likely encountered multiple physical, emotional, and mental struggles – a broken bone, a lost loved one, or stress over school. Most of what is experienced is temporary. Broken bones, for example, heal with time. Meanwhile, school assignments come and go, leaving a void to be filled. It is the emotional hurt that often presents the most challenges to healing.

 

Emotional trauma isn’t fleeting nor can one define how long an individual will require to heal from it. If a person doesn’t heal from grief, for example, they may suffer the rest of their lives over the loss of a parent, child, spouse, or sibling. The same is true of other types of emotional trauma, such as, a parent instilling guilt into their child in an effort to get the child to do what the parent desires.

 

Not only does emotional trauma not heal overnight, it can manifest as physical ailments. For example, some people suffer from stress headaches because they feel that they can never be good enough to meet other people’s expectations. Likewise, some people have pain in their neck and shoulders from figuratively carrying the weight of the world on their shoulder (i.e. feeling too much responsibility). Additionally, there have been some studies that correlate emotional trauma with the manifestation of illnesses, such as cancer, where the disease manifests a couple years after the person experiences trauma.

 

Making the Decision to Heal

 

There have been a number of cases where someone is diagnosed with a condition, sometimes life threatening, where the patient sets a strong intention to heal. These people may experience improvement in their health despite a dim prognosis and some may experience complete healing. Not everyone experiences miraculous healing; however, there are enough cases that show healing is possible if someone sets a true intent to heal.

 

Deciding to heal is more than a person making an implicit or explicit statement that they have decided to heal. There has to be true intent to heal that involves having the emotional desire and the belief that healing is possible coupled with taking physical actions to heal. This is true whether the condition is a physical, emotional, or mental ailment. Healing from emotional grief, for example, means that you physically return to doing some activity that you love.

 

Healing In Action

 

I personally know several people that have made an intention to heal, including myself. In my case, I had a stroke, but I simply believed I would heal. I didn’t consider any other options despite the opinions of the medical professionals. Someone else in my situation, might have just accepted the medical professionals’ opinions and given up or become depressed. However, I just ignored their prognosis and kept working to heal. Today, I am not 100% of what I was before the stroke, but I am doing far better than the doctors believed I would be.

 

In another case, an acquaintance was diagnosed with a tumor. After receiving her diagnosis, she decided to heal by using her gifts in energy healing. She was not able to completely remove the tumor. However, with her effort, the tumor shrank and moved away from critical organs, making it less risky to remove.

 

In another miraculous case, an acquaintance was nearly unable to leave her home because of multiple medical conditions. After she decided she couldn’t live that way, she started getting intuitive hints as to what to do to help her condition. She used nutrition and energy work to completely change her life. Her illness has been in remission for several years and her doctors are completely baffled.

 

Taking Shortcuts

 

In our desire to heal quickly, sometimes we attempt to take shortcuts. A person who experienced the loss of a loved one, for example, may continue their daily routines and deny the emotions they are feeling. On the surface, it may appear that the person moved quickly through the grieving process and has moved on with their life. On the inside, however, the person may be carrying around an emotional pressure cooker. A minor upset may trigger the person to explode with emotions that would seem excessive for the situation. In this case, the person did not truly heal, but simply ignored the healing process.

 

The same could be applied to physical rehab and mental health. I’m sure we all know someone who had a physical injury and returned to their activities too soon and ended up aggravating the injury. This is really what happened in the case of emotional trauma. The person returned to normal life too quickly and aggravated the trauma making it worse than it would have been had they worked through the grieving process.

 

Taking Action In Your Life

 

Survey yourself to see if there are any issues or past traumas – physical, emotional, or mental – that require healing. Recognizing there is an issue is the first step in beginning the process of true healing.

 

Now, imagine what your life would be like if you truly healed. Envision that issue completely gone from your life. If that is something that you would like to experience, you can set an intent to heal. Remember that you must have both the desire to heal and the belief that you can heal.

 

Once you are truly committed to healing, take actions for healing. Let your intuition and your heart guide you as you work toward a healthy you. With true intent and continual effort you will have the opportunity to experience a more fulfilling and joyful life.

 

who is judging whom

 

In our previous article “Behind the Façade,” we discussed how people often hide their authentic self. This article will further investigate those who changed their façade based on their judgment of other people’s judgment of themselves.

 

When people become focused on how they believe others are judging them, they give away their personal power. Often the other person doesn’t even know that they have been given this power because they aren’t actually judging the person and may not have even noticed them.

 

Questions

 

When someone tells me that someone else is judging them, I typically ask a few questions. My first response generally is, “Why do you care?” In some cases, the answer to this question is obvious. However, in the case of a stranger or acquaintance who is not closely connected to the person, the answer is less clear.

 

Another question I ask is, “What made you jump to the conclusion that they are judging you?” The answer to this question is rarely satisfactory to me. It is something they perceive, but is often not tangible.

 

Who Is Doing The Judging?

 

In reality, if the other person has not directly stated a judgment, these people are judging the other person. However, I don’t believe most are aware of their own judgment.   It is in some ways a self-judgment and in other ways a judgment of the other person. It is possible that they believe they should look or act a certain way, but instead of owning it, they project it onto someone else. Alternately, they are judging the other person as someone who believes others should look and act a certain way.

 

For these people that see themselves through the eyes of others, I have to wonder how their life would change if they stopped projecting their judgment onto others.  It would clearly change. We must stay somewhat within cultural norms. Yet, at some point we need to be our true selves and not define our value on how we believe others perceive us.

 

So, when you start to believe that others are judging you then question yourself, “Are they really judging me, or am I judging them?”

 

behind the facade

 

 

As a child, my mother insisted that we keep the drapes closed at all times. I assume she was worried about protecting the family since she was a single working mother. My dad had died just after my sixth birthday. Therefore, I don’t really remember if she had a similar concern when he was alive.

 

All I know is that she never wanted anyone to see into the house. This became readily apparent one beautiful day when I dared to open the living room drapes. I was severely reprimanded as soon as my mom arrived home.

 

Of course, she also never wanted to be seen by anyone when she wasn’t looking her best. I assumed it was partially because she wanted to be attractive to men. Thus, she was always looking her best when she went anywhere.

 

Others Are Judging

 

Later, I realized that these behaviors were tied, in part, to her belief that she knew how others were judging her. Thus, she felt compelled to show people what she thought they wanted to see so that they would think highly of her. She was concerned with what others thought of her and made sure to show them what she believed they wanted to see. When she wasn’t prepared to show that image, she wanted to remain hidden.

 

I believe everyone does this to some extent.  Most of us put on our best business look for job interviews, are just a bit sweeter than normal when talking to a new love interest, and act a bit different at church than at home. However, there are those that rarely show their authentic self. Instead, they hide behind a façade of what they think people want to see. Those are the ones that are perpetually disconnected.

 

Some of those people end up feeling as if they have lost their identity. They may go through life without ever acknowledging their own value. These types of people constantly put others first and are often everyone’s go to person when they need something. Yet, these people often do not feel valued.

 

Hiding The True Self

 

Other people hide behind the façade as an escape from reality. For instance, a woman may not feel beautiful, thus, she will over-beautify herself. Similarly, a man may feel that he isn’t as good a provider as he believes he should be. In that situation, he may exaggerate his job responsibilities and income.

 

Others have, for one reason or another, come to believe that others’ views of them is critically important to their success and worth to society. These people often create judgments of themselves and attribute them to others. If they actually bothered to have a conversation and learn about other people’s perspectives, they might learn that the people that they are trying so hard to impress, don’t actually have the judgments that they believe they do.

 

Being Authentic

 

A person needs to show their authentic self in order to connect. Hiding behind facades prevents true connections.

 

In our next article “To Judge and Be Judged,” we will discuss the phenomena of people that judge they are being judged.